auntie Peta's funeral

was surprised to hear that my aunt had passed the same night we visited her last week.  all us kids collected money and took it to dad.  it was one of the only times I can think of that he sat down and talked to us as a dad and thanked us as well as telling us that this doesn't ever end in our tongan culture (giving for funerals and big events).  I know he misses his sister and dad.  had so many pass in the past few yrs.
then he said something that was insightful to us. he said dying was not as scarey, because his dad went before him.  the reason this hit me so hard was because when we got to his house (me and Ensign and Lily)  the house was dark. he was next door with uncle Ensign. since my gpa has passed it has been hard to go to his house with him gone.  we all went and sat at dad's house until dad got there.  I noticed that I felt the same. when my dad (or one of my brothers and sisters) isn't at a place that is familiar, it can be scary to go to that place.   not knowing what is ahead is scary but once someone you love is there, you feel free/comfortable to go there.
at auntie Peta's funeral the best talks to me were those from her grandkids and how they missed her. Anthony's 3rd daughter said that her gma taught her that You stand faithful even when times are hard.  his oldest shared how they would plant flowers together. something so special to her.
it was strange to hear them keep saying her name (my name). I thought "what will those I leave say about me?" what did I contribute to their lives and to this life?
I didn't spend a lot of time with my aunt but I know that she was faithful and that she loved her kids, grandkids and husband but especially the Lord.  I remember her telling me at one of our last conversations about how excited she was about some church books talking of the things to come.  Miss my loved ones that have passed.