i shall overcome...I have overcome, and will continue to overcome

Yesterday morning awoke to an argument with my husband. I tried to not feel down on myself. we went to the gym I hit 800 Cal for the first time!! i was feeling good til about an hr after getting home. I ended up shopping to try to find that temporary happiness but it was no use. Thank goodness for my children's needs that I can look after so I am not enveloped in my inaccurate thoughts of my life. In the evening I finally told my husband what a bad day I had. I was in a better place by then bcuz I was glad that he listened. Today was a whole new day. I went to the gym again. 830 Calories!! felt so proud of myself and so exhausted. yet i found the strength to clean and cook. the kids were good about helping with the cleaning part. Vinny's been over. i get upset when my son argues or tries to boss him around. sometimes Vinny stands up to him lol. I want to split them apart or punish them many times but my husband reminds me that they are kids and they will argue and resolve their own problems. Vinny went to go home with his home putting on his pouty face and it got both me and my husband trying to comfort him. hopefully as time goes on my kids and their cousins will look out for one another. there will be good days and bad days btwn my husband and me but hopefully a whole lot more good days. he came home exhausted from wking his day job and then iate afterwards. grateful that I am blessed with such a man.

Graduation time

It that's time of the year where u see all the different types of lei's people come up with. went to Seini's graduation (oldest daughter of Lote and Kena). so happy for her. her mom and sister's were up in the bleachers showing how loud and happy they were. made me think of Lote back in high school...so fun. as we r waiting there is a child's name called and one mom stands up screaming at the top of her lungs for her daughter. then she sits down and it is quiet. Kale is sitting next to me and say loudly "well that's embarrassing!" I am thinking "what the? i better scoot away cuz ur embarrassing me". this girl is to funny, no shame. Kale and Zerin had their first volleyball practice with Nia. so thankful she's up for teaching them.

my little initias

The girls in our primary had to do an Indian nbr. i spent a couple of days making outfits. the girls looked great. I was so amazed at how well they knew their dance.

gym for my 600 cal

was so excited when i awoke to get to the gym but one thing came up after another. finally around 2pm I got myself in my car to go. started with weights for upper body. sweated through that and it was feelin great. then I get on the eliptical and was so hard. I was waiting for the negative voice in my head to give up and be quiet. pushed myself thru til I hit 500Cal. couldnt feel my feel by then so i got off and did some situps. finally, I was feeling a little better and got back on to hit my 600!! yay!! i didnt feel like i sweat as much as i normally do til i get in the sauna. this old man had sprayed the whole room with a hose and it was piping hot. I couldnt stay in my whole 10min., but gosh did that make up the for nonsweating feeling I had. i was dripping. i went back for a few min but by the time i came out, I was lightheaded. came home to wking on the grass with keai. never thought I'd say this but it is relaxing to be outside doing gardening or wking on our fence. for dinner we ate ice cream and cake. how healthy lol.

didnt feel like wking out...

...then i come into gym n burned 600Cal. way to impress myself-build my self esteem cheehoo!!

updates

Veni's now done with Kindergarten and looking fwd to having all the kids in school fulltime. Kale's gonna be a 6th grader and Zerin a 5th grader this upcoming fall. Been feeling a lot better. more self esteem and confidence going to gym for the past 3 weeks. now i wake up looking fwd to the good feelins I get when I exercise. nothing like it! When I miss it feels like my day doesnt go as well. Went part time at work but already seeing finances drop so waiting on them to approve me back to full-time Hoi. Keai mom was a little sick so need to have Keai call her again. Steven went on a fieldtrip (he's 5) and he had asked me to go but all the parents filled up the spots avail. Veni still asked me to come so I drove all the way up to Hogle Zoo and walked 1/2 a mile to see him and his class at the backgate. I was waiting to see his suprised "I am happy to my mom" look but he instead saw me and ran and hid. He was embarrassed! dang dont he know I just spent $12 to get in. made me wanna go home already. he's way too young to already be embarrassed. toni ke pa'i. hehehe