reality

Feeling down. grandma hasn't been doing well. last friday she was in the emergency room and they found that she has gallstones. i made her an appt and we're supposed to go in tomorrow to see the dr. who will make an appt to do the surgery.

this past sunday was fun. we had all the bros and sis over for christmas and was glad we could have it here with grandma. everything was fine until she spoke at the end telling everyone she was glad the children were having fun and that she loved all of us. we tried to make jokes but then alex spoke up about how he appreciated being able to be there and how he considers us his bros and sis like we do him. he then spoke of how he missed his little brother and sister. I can tell he is lonely. I am glad he came over.

John and paki also made it over and paki is expecting next year. very happy for them. Eli also spoke up about how we need to remember grandma in our prayers and how they need to visit her. Crystal put in a lot of effort to have games for us and make it fun. It was good to have everyone over.

I have been worried about grandma since the night she was in the hospital. i couldn't concentrate on my work that day and now i am checking on her every few hours. I really wish i had all my training for nursing done so i wouldn't feel so helpless.