Kaeevan

my cousin/sister Kaeevan passed away.  so sad for my sisters and for Ellen.  she was one of the bravest people I've known with cancer. she wouldn't take pain meds. she just endured it til the end.  she was always the kind that would love to see you mad. she would just laugh harder and louder.  she loved kids. at her funeral her dad talked of how she was always an honest person whether you were angry with her or not. 

we used to sleep over at their house. I remember always feeling intimidated by uncle Mo (her dad). then as she was sick I would go visit and one day I walked in to see him massaging her neck.  I almost cried. this is the side that parents need to show their kids more, including myself.  I will miss you Kaeevan. 

Conflicting thoughts...found this from 2009

my kids and sleep overs

August 16, 2009 

my nieces livia and maya are over once or twice a month and my girlz love it. it’s been a fun summer being able to be home with my girlz and paying attn to them and not to my homewk. went back to schl last year and it all sounded great but i been listening to dr. laura and realizing that I should’ve done the schl thing all b4 kids. that seems obvious but i thought it’d be ok since the girls are now both in schl. i have come to realize though that when they need me for homewk i am usually pushing them to my husband so i can get my homewk done as well. I know, boooo on me. i told my husband a couple of times that it’s a mistake and i’d rather wk my sucky job for life and be able to spend time with my kids and pay more attn to them b4 they dont wanna hang around us anymore. he says i’ve put a lot into schl and he’s supported me lots so i should just stick in there. so i am trying to look at us in the long run and see that becoming a nurse will help us a lot financially. i also think now would be better than waiting for them to be teens b4 i rtn to schl. I can’t believe how much i can love this kids that i would give up everything to spend time with them. my youngest is only 2 yrs old. he doesnt talk a lot but his smile drives away my anger and sadness (when i am in those neg. moods). I want to have another but my last dr. told me it’d be dangerous for me or my future kids since i have had 3 c sections already. and then there’s my hubby. no other like him! he cooks, cleans, loves my family, great dad and is patient with me, oh and of course wks his butt off for us :) He’s my hottie :) 

I'm a runner!!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

I’m a Runner!!

All the time I would joke “yes, on my morning jog.”  others would laugh with me…or I guess that would be an “At me.”  Today, I decided that I am going to be a runner. I have been going for endurance on the bike and elliptical and can do an hr on each or both on some days. it’s time for a new challenge.  I was reading “Katie runs for cookies” http://www.runsforcookies.com/ a blog about weightloss and running. she was heavy too and has lost over 100 lbs from running.  I might be heavy but I will still train. I want to be able to run my own 5K, not just on elipitcal (where I am starting) but on a treadmill and then eventually to the streets. Today I did 67min. 4miles total!! but listening to a 5K app that I got, I did total of 50min.  my next run is Monday. can wait!  right now a mile takes me a average of 17min.  my goal is to run 3x a week.  I had lost 20lbs for this year, but gained 2 lbs now a 19lb loss. Next Sat noon I will weigh in again.

My kids and I had visited my cousin Kaeevan about a month ago. She has cancer and since then her Dr has told her that they cannot do anything else for her now.  We went to visit her again tonight.  with all she goes through, she is still a fighter…smiling when she’s in pain.  She told me wants to get her endowments before she leaves this life. tmrw she has a temple class.  I want my kids to know how special she and her family are to me, how Lily and I would sleep over there as kids to play with Kaeevan and Ellen.   how we would laugh a lot and teu.  Sitting next to her tonight, I was speechless. all i could do was to try and hold her hand.  she mentioned how she loves a song that Tina, little Leta and Tina's brothers sing called "when someone cares" and how she wants it done at her funeral. i joked with her that I could sing it but I am asking Tina to see if she can teach it to my kids.

grandma's prayers answered

guess who finally got their recommend?! Yay! everytime i planned on going in, my husband would make me so angry. Then sunday night my cousin texted asking me to come tmrw night cuz she gets her endowments. I told myself "k dont worry bout what Keai does, just go into the stake". I also am sked to wk tmrw night. Anyhow i text the stake secretary who does sked for stake and he said that they wont be on tuesday (today). I said a prayer and signed up for auto for my shift. I checkd stAff mangmt to find i got auto! So i tell my husband i am going into the stake n sit there cuz someone is going to show up n i will get my recommend. Get to stake n Deehna pouha asks what i am doing. I tell her that i am there to get my recommend but stake pres isnt supposed to be there. She laughed n looked at me like i was crazy. Lol. So sitting there and other tongan ladies ask if i want to come to their fine ofa activity. I tell them thanks but i am there to see the stake (already been sitting there for about an hour...and my kids say "lets go home no one is coming") then the lady tells me that she just saw the staje open their office! Run over there, had to wait almost 3 hrs but I got it! I could tell my husband was so happy. I am so excited. Its been way too long
1030pm my husband was at the gym and I am calling my sister/best friend Liz Leakehe.  she probably thought that something was wrong that I was calling her so late.  i was only too excited that i finally was holding in my hand my recommend and all the experiences that I went through to get to this point were too exciting for me just to text her.  Liz has been there through a lot of my thick and thins. things i cant tell my sisters/mom cuz i dont want them to judge my husband.  every once in a while we go get Pedi's together or go eat.  every wife really needs a friend to destress with.  going to sleep is always hard for me but tonight especially with the excitement of knowing that we get to go to the temple tmrw.
day of going to temple….
i started off by having to drop by gma's house to give her money and take some cakes to help with a putu.  i was telling her that i got my recommend and she laughs (smiling soooo happy). then she tells me with more happiness that her son (uncle Biu) recvd his recommend as well as a calling.  came home to tell Keai about my visit and then the thought passed "what if gma goes soon cuz now her prayers are answered?" all she talks about when i see her is if we have food stored in case any kind of disaster comes up and that we need to go to the temple.
last night Keai tells me that i would have to go to temple without him cuz he was on call. i said "no. you find someone to cover your shift and we will go. someone will help you"  before noon this morning he texted that Heavenly Father answered that prayer too. so off to the temple we went.  when we arrived we saw Sai, Funaki, Polo'i, aunty Lela, and Muka. still was in disbelieft that i finally made my way back to the Lord's House.  Keai sat next to me when a brother came up and asked us to be the couple that leads the session. my heart was pounding and i was looking at Keai as if to say "please tell him No" but i know better than that and ended up in our reserved seats.  Some days i don't know if my husband knows how much i love him. watching him come in with his handsome face and white clothes was priceless.  we later went into another room and met up with Cass and Kris.  so happy for her and yet was so nervous myself.   lol. came home with a feeling that not much can give my heart….PEACE.  

little sister's bridal shower

had so much fun and it was worth all the work.  Kris asked me to do a couple of games for Cass's shower.  i procrastinated prob because i was nervous but was glad they asked me to help out.  food was great (sandwiches and soups). was able to spend time with family when i normally am so unsociable.  Lousia also helped with the games. we both did a writing game and then isa did a game where they had someone write words with their booty (tahitian moves) then i had a balloon game i got off of FB.  they had to be in 2 lines and leave over while the person from behind had to try and pop a balloon that the girl in front was wearing. was kind of nervous cuz my mom showed up and so did one of our uncles   lol.   it was fun though. then we got to go see Cass's house afterwards…beautiful.  so thankful i was able to share in this special time for her. Cass, Andrea, Sepa and Sariah were our little roomates and also our sisters as we were staying with them when we 1st got married.  nowadays because of my girls' ages we spend more time with Loni and Lexx. luv their family so much.

changes with losing weight

I put on my hubby's shorts cuz i had to run and throw in a load of laundry…they fit!!! i have a a watch from Lita for over 2  yrs but never wore it cuz it didn't fit…it fits!!! i swear i saw my collar bone in my reflection at gym today. i like looking in the gym mirror more and more.
last night i was working downstairs. came upstairs to find my hubby in front of youtube watching these boyish looking body models. i was furious. i went back downstairs cussing.  he kept coming to lean on me. i kept telling him to go away.  once i was done (1230 am) i went to bed and he was still awake.  he said something was wrong but i wasnt sure what was next. for the 1st time he said that he was worried that i was going to leave. usually after our arguments he will just go to sleep but tonight he said he wasnt sure why he was feeling so worried when all he wanted was for me to be happier and to be able to lose weight (i have lost 22lbs so far this year by clean eating).  i couldnt believe what i was hearing. he said he could tell i am feeling more confident.  i did feel like that today but didnt know that it made that much of a difference in the way i carry myself.  this guy doesnt know how much i love him and that sort of thing doesnt cross my mind like it did when i was more immature.
we went to gym tonight and i couldnt believe how much energy i had. i did an hour on elliptical (4miles) and still had more energy. we took keai home cuz he has to wk in the morning and i went back and did more cardio til they closed at midnight. clean eating has helped me so much.  i have been able to eat at least 4 cucumbers in past week as well as 3 zucchinis, 3 tomatoes, and 3 heads of lettuce.  i am impressing myself and building my belief and love for myself in a way that i could never have imagined.
i have been trying to get my temple recommend and have a testimony that when you are trying to do the Lord's work, that obstacles will come your way.  the past 2 weeks something always comes up. my cousin is getting married this week and texted me to come on the night that she gets her endowments and here i am dying to go just because she asked me but i still havent been able to meet w/the stake to sign my recommend.  i am going to stake tmrw night out of faith that Heavenly Father will make things happen so that i can go with her.
the kids started school today. Kale had her 1st day of jr high and was nervous as i have ever seen her but she made it through her day and she says it isnt too bad. glad she had a good experience.  zerin's a 6th grader (so oldest grade in her school). veni keeps asking me who will be with him when his sisters leave elementary.  i try not to show my worried side cuz i know they feel it when i do.  time really does fly by. already been married for 14yrs and now have a little young woman.  a lot to be grateful for.

My "give it all he has"husband

Last Saturday he had to yardwork jobs. He said he was going to do a barbecue but he was tired when he arrived. He just sat down to rest when he received a call that some manioke from his mom had arrived. He got up and went out the door again without eating. He returned home to receive another call that a brother in the ward needed a blessing. I heard him on the phone calling someone else to please help him. He told me he would be right back then I hear him telling the kids to get ready to go watch fireworks when he returned. By then it was already 9 o'clock at night but he still took the time to take his kids to watch fireworks. I dont know where he gets this energy from then on sunday he had to give a talk. He spoke of how you spend time on what you think is important. And there was my answer it wasn't energy it was what was important. Sometimes we have arguments but i have never had to go out looking for him. He always comes home to me T the end of the day. I love this man that Heavenly Father answered my prayers with. 

Donuts

Last Sunday my brother brought us donuts for Mother's Day now we are addicted and keep going there.
Somehow I still lost weight this week. I also got approved to return to work from home. I lost my iPhone and now I can't get myself to go work out. I keep checking the dang find my iPhone app.
I remember coming home from my mission and Sote would not be able to sleep I know have that same problem. Sucks! Can be so dang tired and still not asleep. I forget things, i misplace things. It's I'm pregnant all over again

exercise

went to gym all year last year and hardly lost anything….the reason was that i wasnt consistent in tracking other things.  i was good sometime and slacked many times.  so that I have accomplished and love going to gym everyday…my new GOAL= planning what I will eat each day so that me falling off the wagon is less likely.  i was good all day yesterday eating and wking out. then after wk I was soooo hungry and unprepared that I stopped by Mc D's for mcmuffins.  i wk late now and after wk cant sleep so i stop at gym so that I dont have the excuse that I dont have time for gym….i have wkd way too long at going to gym everyday that I dont want to lose that addiction.

Goal 2= drink at least 10 c a day of water.  i was orig wking at goal of a gallon but with how often i had to run to bathroom that isnt realistic.

Goal 3= compliments/praising myself when I did well or avoided tempting food.
yesterday i was soooo proud cuz i normally crave chips and here was my kids and hubby eating chips and I found some pistachios instead. and i ate a small portion!! probably one of the only times i havent fallen into that trap.  i also awoke starving and wanted to grab rice and ribs…but had a little bit of ribs and 2 c of spring mix salad.  also made a berries salad (similar to Zupas) and my husband loved it. i didnt like it at first but tried it a 2nd time and it's not bad.

for my Goal 1 = today I already packed some meat and salad away and prepared so that I am not tempted to just grab anything.  prepacked a serving of pistachios to take in my purse incase i get hungry away from home

will wk on these 3 goals and report back each day

week at gpa's

My feet are killing me, lots of bonding time w/the aunties and cousins, and tons of pulling and carrying koloa. slept 5 hrs and awoke bcuz my feet and back are killing me…..then the thought came to me "only for you gpa would I not mind this pain….sorry you had to probably deal w/pains more than this for years" Miss him, luv him and know that he's at peace now and happy w/his wife gma Lily. Crystal also told me that while she was driving w/her 2 yr old Aspasia that Pssia said "gpa was sick?…now he's better" then Crystal asked her of she could see him and she replied yes. thanks for Crystal needed that comfort.

Makanesi Wolfgramm Obituary Guest Book "Ensign and family - my thoughts and prayers are with you at..." - Liberty Dill View Sign Makanesi Wolfgramm 1923 - 2014 Salt Lake City, UT-Makanesi Wolfgramm, 90, passed away on January 11, 2014 in Salt Lake City. He was born on September 9, 1923, in Ha'alaufuli, Vava'u, Tonga to Charles Fredrick and Salome Fo'ou Afu Wolfgramm. He married Water Lily Tongi in Neiafu, Vava'u, Tonga on January 15, 1948 and in 1962 Solemnized in the New Zealand Temple. In 1969 he and his family were relocated to Salt Lake City, Utah. He was a High priest and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints and served in many church callings including serving as a labor missionary in Tonga and later years called as temple sealer in Tonga. He is survived by his children, Ramon (Sue) Sanft, Peta (Robert) Hansen, Deseret (Moses) Leo, James E. Wolfgramm, Legrand (Tupou) Wolfgramm, Weldon (Jacqueline) Wolfgramm, Ensign (Sandy) Wolfgramm, Lose (Hosea) Fifita, John (Malina) Wolfgramm and Zodiac T. Wolfgramm and 51 grandchildren and 89 great-grandchildren and sister Ma'ata K. Fiefia. Preceded in death by his wife, parents and 10 siblings. A viewing is scheduled for 5:00 p.m. Friday, January 24th at the Edison LDS Church located at 1401 West 700 South, Salt Lake City, Utah, also at 9:00 a.m. Saturday morning followed by his funeral service at 11:00 a.m. We would like to give a special thank you to Dr, Celia A. Garner and medical staff for all their help. 'Ofa atu Dad. You will be missed Services are under the direction of Peni Malohifo'ou of Serenity Funeral home Draper, Utah For condolence please refer to http://www.serenicarefuneralhome.com Published in Salt Lake Tribune on Jan. 22, 2014 Print | View Guest Book - See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/saltlaketribune/obituary.aspx?n=makanesi-wolfgramm&pid=169211524#sthash.0I9oOB5k.dpuf

dad n gpa……Leni's post

my nephew Legrand put this up on his FB page and I thought it was so cute to see from a young man's eyes so thought i'd save it for my kids to read some day.. Jan 12 2014 Sunday So today after church i stay after to to help pick up the trash because we r the last ward i get a text from my dad and its say come outside we r going to see grandpa makanesi so i run outside On our way there i think to myself why would they keep grandpa makanesi in the hospital for that long we pull up and walk inside then i see Lily Wolfgramm Branch and she says she going home to sleep because she hasnt slept yet then she tells us the room number and she leaves So we get to the floor we walk out the elevator and some lady says hi u guys and turn right and its Seilingi Tuatonga and then she shows us the way to the room and on our shirt walk i hear laughing I walk in the room expecting grandpa makanesi on the bed and people crying thats not wat i got i saw grandpa Legrand laying down on the bed im like wat the heck is going on My dad was like dad i think u ate too much ice cream and then 2-3 min later Ray Tuatonga walks out and says to me and kiti lets go and get some ice cream we start laughing and get some ice cream with Seilingi Tuatonga from down stairs we find out that 3 regular scoops is = to 1 huge scoop for $2 We went back to the room and we walked around and sat down in like in a little waiting room i was like man i want to be in the hospital now So then they get more ice cream for everyone and it was sad because the doc said that grandpa Legrand couldnt eat ice cream After we left baba (Liki ski) says "dad how did grandpa Legrand get in the hospital" dad says he walked in hahaha

Blessed to have my gma in my life

Blessed to be able to spend time w/gma after her surgery. Sitting with her at night at a rehab clinic is priceless. i get to watch her sleep, help her turn, try to comfort her. I can never repay her for all she's taught me and done for me. I remember as a child she would walk me to the corner of Hale bakery and then watch me as I continued on my way to school. she would tell Jeff to walk home with me. i remember telling on him cuz he left me at school one day. I was walking home scared to be on my own when Jeff and Kevin come running along and then just pass me up. I was the oldest baby. I would ask to go with her and gpa everwhere they went. I slept with them. I would ask her to wake sometimes to grab me a drink of water. a few times she would return to me with me knocked out already. There were times i would run to her crying and she would wipe my tears with her black dress with flowers. I can still picture the material and smell of her dress from the many dishes she would wash. I can see me and gpa in the living room with him calling her name "Ika...Ika...honey" then she would come to the kitchen window and say "ha fua ho fa'a ui" lol.

Livi's baptism

My brother's girls Maya and Olivia mean the world to me. they always get to spend time with my kids. for a while veni didnt understand why they would always have to leave. When I found out she was getting baptized there wasnt a question as to whether we'd go or not. my husband asked but I am pretty sure he already knew my answer. i didnt tell my kids til they returned home from school. We were all so excited to get out of town. all the way up there Keai and I sang with the Ipod while the kids took turns playing on the Ipad. i thought we'd get to go see the sites once we got there but Keai was tired from driving that he slept for a loooong loooong time. we ended up in our room pigging out on stuff we brought from home. the next morning we were all up at about 7am to go eat all their complimentary breakfast. they made everything little. little sausages, little yogurts but there we were with our big appetites. i asked my husband to make a waffle but by that time he was so embarrassed by how much he ate that he wouldnt get up and go to the table of food anymore. we retruned to our room and both of us fell asleep while the kids entertained themselves. story of our lives. then I jump up to realize it's almost time for the baptism and we still have to get ready as well as pack to check out. we finally are ready about 5min to noon when we are looking for the chapel. the town isnt too big so we figured that there'd be no problem to find it. ....it was a problem. for some reason our handy dandy GPS wasnt finding the address. we went from one side of the town to another. then we're both stressed out. then he head back to the other side of town that we had started searching at to finally find the chapel. if it wasnt for my husband i wouldve been balling and giving up while driving back home. we hurry about 1/2 hr late with the whole room waiting on us. gosh then my heart raced feeling so embarrassed. Her aunt christina said a talk about baptism and then I said one about the Holy Ghost. A missionary baptized Livi and Keai and her gpa Lester were the witnesses. i was so blessed that my kids could attend her baptism. her family made us feel welcome and my kids were happy to see their kids.

farewell to my gpa Makanesi

laying in bed feeling sick when the phone rings. my husband tells me my gpa has just passed away. i stay in bed partly cuz i am in shock but mostly because I do not want it to be real. i go to the living room and tell my kids to get ready to go to the hospital, but i cannot let the words out of my mouth that he has passed. we get ready and are in the car before my husband tells them. then as we are driving we get a call from Pou that dad's in the hospital as well for stomach pain. get to IHC and enter gap's room to find kaeevan and Ellen standing and crying by his bedside. i can't control the tears, but yet I am happy that he's no longer in pain and that he's back w/gma Lily. his skin is still warm and he looks peaceful. we then take the kids and go to see dad. i enter his room and he tries to smile but I bend down to kiss his cheek and start to cry saying "I'm sorry about your dad". i can feel his tears and staggered breathing under me.this is the first time I've ever seen him cry in my 39 yrs here in my life. i can still hear him saying "Te….ti?!" the Dr comes in and says sorry and then says dad can go see his dad. i know theres too many people in gpa's room but i want to be w/dad. we walk with him and can feel the stares of others as we go down the hallway w/my 3 kids Justin and Keai. dad goes in to say bye to gpa. such a heavy heart to see dad say farewell to gpa. dad's always worried bout work, the kids' jackets for winter and about this dad more than anything else. thank you gpa for teaching me that families are forever and that Jesus is the Christ.

Jeffrey R Holland Rejoicing in Reunion I recall a few years ago seeing a drama enacted at the Salt Lake International Airport. On this particular day, I got off an airplane and walked into the terminal. It was immediately obvious that a missionary was coming home because the airport was full of conspicuous-looking missionary friends and missionary relatives. I tried to pick out the immediate family members. There was a father who did not look particularly comfortable in an awkward-fitting and slightly out-of-fashion suit. He seemed to be a man of the soil, with a suntan and large, work-scarred hands. There was a mother who was quite thin, looking as if she had worked very hard in her life. She had in her hand a handkerchief—and I think it must have been a linen handkerchief once, but now it looked like tissue paper. It was nearly shredded from the anticipation only the mother of a returning missionary could know. Two or three younger brothers and sisters were running around, largely oblivious to the scene that was unfolding. I found myself wondering as to who would be first to break away from the welcoming group. A look at the mother’s handkerchief convinced me that she would probably be the one. As I sat there, I saw the returning missionary appear. I knew he was the one by the squeals of excitement from the crowd. He looked like Captain Moroni, clean and handsome and straight and tall. Undoubtedly he had known the sacrifice this mission had meant to his father and mother. As he neared the group, sure enough, someone couldn’t wait any longer. It wasn’t the mother, and it wasn’t any of the children. It was Father. That big, slightly awkward, quiet, and bronzed giant of a man ran out and swept his son into his arms. The missionary was probably 6′2″ (188 cm) or so, but this big father grabbed him, lifted him off the ground, and held him for a long, long time. He just held him and said nothing. The boy put both arms around his dad, and they just held each other very tightly. It seemed like all eternity stood still. It was as if all the world had gone silent out of respect for such a sacred moment. And then I thought of God the Eternal Father watching His Son go out to serve, to sacrifice when He didn’t have to do it, paying His own expenses, so to speak, costing everything He had saved all His life to give. At that precious moment, it was not too difficult to imagine that Father speaking with some emotion to those who could hear, “This is my Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17). And it was also possible to imagine that triumphant returning Son saying, “It is finished” (John 19:30). “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit” (Luke 23:46).